Monday, July 19, 2010

still struggling and not happy ! :-(

So frustration has consumed my every thought about what is going to happen with this event. My injury to my foot is in a very slow recovery mode. The cast is gone and the orthodics and foot splint are in place but I am frustrated with the amount I can (or can't do) however you wanna look at it. I celebrate the fact that my fundraising goal has been met thanks to all my great supporters and I could then focus on the training more ... then "wham"
I'm hit with an injury. With less than 4 months to train and I am frustrated beyond believe. I started this journey for so many reasons and set so many goals for myself and I'm afraid of failing. Some will call it a "type A" personality but I so want to be able to complete this marathon and not have to live with an injury afterwards. If don't stay focused on training for the marathon I won't be able to reach my goals. (which are already getting further and further away from being attainable). I have people telling me to focus on doing the 10k rather the full marathon, but my heart just wouldn't be in the same away. I'm sorry that this entry to my blog is turning out to be a frustration vent, but right now this is what it is and it's a huge challenge for me right now. This is the reason I haven't been able to blog, because I didn't want to have such negativity come through as I struggled but it was time to let you know what was going on. I have never wanted something so bad and felt like it was slipping away. I guess so much of this is coming from the fact that I tried to do a run tonight and it didn't go well at all. :-( I was so excited because I thought the new runners, the orthodics and splint would put me back on track, but it didn't in fact it did just the opposite.

We just received our online training schedules from the running room and that added yet more discouragement when I typed in Marathon in Oct. I even put that I was going to walk the entire thing in 6.5 hours and the results were not encouraging.
So many things going through my head, do I do the marathon and walk as much as I can and not worry about finishing or do I focus and do the 10k and be able to finish and feel successful? Do opt into another event a couple months down the road after I'm able to fully recover from the injury. I hate to feel defeat and I know not participating in the marathon would make me feel like that. The thought of not going to Athens with the group that I've been training with would be sad, we've all become such good friends and shared our stories.

Well these are my thoughts from the last couple of weeks and I truly hope that I can find the answers I need soon. Thanks for listening and I will keep you posted. :-) Thank you to everyone for your continued support !!!