Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Frustration

Well I hoping to be blogging about all the walking I'm doing and the weightloss that is supposed to be happening but I'm not. It's with great frustration I continue to struggle with this flare up and the medication changes. I have spend the last 4 weeks in alot of discomfort and counting the days until my remicade infusion yesterday, believing I would get some relief. Well that wasn't the case, instead I experienced a severe life threatening reaction 15 minutes into the infusion. I reacted at the last infusion but not as serverely so the Dr and the nurses decided to premedicate with cortisone and benadryl to avoid such a reaction again. That of course didn't help and it is obvious that I am clearly allergic to the medication. So after being on oxygen, observed and monitored for 4 hours I left the clinic and came home. I called my rhumetologist just to find out that I can't get into see her until Oct 27 to evaluate the situation and decide on which medication I will try next. So here I am waiting in discomfort until the end of Oct to try and get some answers. I want to be walking walking walking ... I know it's a year away but I also know how quickly that comes. I have a long way to go with losing the weight that I gained plus the extra I still had to lose before the last marathon. It's been over 6 years since I experienced a full blown flare up and it sucks. So this is my day that I feel like crap and don't want to do a thing, both from the after effects of the reaction and the pain from the flareup. But this is my journey to be an inspiration and so thankfully I have my supporters, family and friends who are helping me cope and continue on. These are the times I rely on all these people to help me over a hump that's blocking my view. To remind me that I can do this no matter. I'm not feeling it today but I also know I don't want to disappoint anyone so "cheers to a better day tomorrow". I think I can... I think I can ... I think I can....

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